Features - Daily Chuckle

Heresy

dailychuckleOnce I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"

He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist."

I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"

"Northern Conservative, Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.

Emo Phillips

 

Share |

 

Add comment


Security code
Refresh

Sense of Purpose
Sense of Purpose Please give my dog a flock of sheep.Nudging us behind the knees toward the kitchen,dropping a ball at...
Self-Acceptance
Self-Acceptance I achieved Rubenesque status by eating reubens,living life fully, indulging to the hilt.  Fondly,...
One Love
One Love Gratitude to Youfor laying down the foundation of faith.Praise to Youfor building this home filled with hope....
Three-Legged Stool
Three-Legged Stool I feel You whenpeople do good deeds for the needy. I see You whensociety opens a checkbook to se...
Forgiven for Good
Forgiven for Good There's a reason the sun rises anew each day.Every day is a completely clean slate.Cherry-pick...
Remission
Remission The treatments are done.The doctors tell methat the cancer is in remission.Remission.Not gone.Not forgotten....

prayables-woman