Blogs - Chief of Pray Blog

My Next Life: Woody Allen

"In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!" — Woody Allen

I sometimes think about what’s next. I’m told, one of the most often asked questions clergy will hear is: “What happens after you die?” At Prayables, we focus on the commonalities between faiths, but start discussing the afterlife… that’s a whole ‘nother kettle of fish! I’m Jewish. In our holy books, there’s some, but not much, talk about life after death. We’re all about the here and now; with a dollop of “when the Messiah comes.” At least that’s my interpretation. So, I fill in the blanks, with my own idea of heaven as my eternal resting place. Like Woody, I envision an orgasm as being part of my end game. I mean; if you’re taking the trouble to dream up the perfect eternal resting place, you surely would want to include the most physically satisfying pleasure.  Emotionally, I want to feel the appreciation and love from my family and close friends— forever and ever. I also want to enjoy a constant stream of strangers who kind to me; for no apparent reason. And then there’s God. To be on God’s turf, would be a nice change of pace. No worry about keeping up appearances and making sure my “spiritual house” is in order.

I don’t fear death. I’m not kidding when I say, I believe the afterlife to be immensely rewarding. Visions of meeting up with my grandparents, my aunts and uncles who I miss now in life, is extremely comforting. Yes, I’m sorry for the loss felt by loved ones when someone dies. Yet, I trust grief to be a teacher and to make us stronger. If I could live my life backwards in my next life, I’d do it. As for living my life now, facing forward— I do.

Today I am born to a new week.
I thank You for the view from Monday,
for the wide, unworn week
stretching out before me,
for all the possibility
simmering beneath the surfaces
of appointments and deadlines.
Thank You for standing
beside me today,
stepping with me into
another new beginning
and filling me with
the insuppressible joy
of Your constant presence.

-Abi Wurdeman