Blogs - Chief of Pray Blog

When Opposites Attract and Personalities Clash

When I first met my husband, his youngest son, Michael, was eight years old. We went on a family date to the United Center to watch the Chicago Bulls play basketball. We had terrible seats. We sat in the nose bleed section of the huge stadium. The game was over, we left our section and began climbing down four full flights of stairs.

We circled around to find the exit nearest to where we parked. Just as we were about to leave the building Michael said he forgot his baseball cap. David told him, “Go get it, we’ll wait for you here.” That’s when I first realized, I met my match.

I have always been a very lenient parent. My kids were the first of their friends to be able to ride their bike around the block, go to Northbrook Court themselves and take a train downtown, but never in my wildest dreams, would I have allowed my eight year old to roam around a strange sports arena alone. Not because I feared my kids would be kidnapped, but because they inherited my lousy sense of direction.

Michael returned with his cap in record time. Dazed and amazed, I made a decision then and there— this was the family for me.

It’s wonderful when opposites attract and values are the same. There are so many examples in our blended family of ying and yang, and that’s what makes us stronger. The concept of shared values is a common thread that runs through all successful relationships— personal as well as business. It’s what makes for a happy marriage, a cohesive worship community and a productive workplace, but oh how the sparks fly when the personalities clash!

Isn’t that what life is all about? The excitement of new and different with the contentment of old and familiar. It should be a given, that values are never compromised. I’ve found, if I’m in a situation where I’m trying to change hearts— I walk away a loser, but when I can figure out a way to accept that everyone doesn’t have to do it my way— we all win.

So what! He’s a pessimist, I’m an optimist. She’s hyper-sensitive, I have thick skin. They’re Muslims, we’re Jews. Same values. We pray for the same things, even if we do it differently. Those are directions I can follow, without getting lost.

Convergence

He and I are from unlikely worlds.
We pray to You, but with different words.

Tell me, how different can we really be
if our gazes fall on the one same You?

From here, we lift our hopes and fears
and look to Your light only for strength.

In You, we know each other more.
In You, we find our future paths.

-Abigail Wurdeman