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Have You Lost Weight?

It's been said that you can never be too rich or too thin.  But the latest winner of America's Top Model might just prove that cliche wrong.

At 6 feet, 2 inches, Ann Ward is nineteen years old and weighs 120 pounds.  It's frightening to see this model with an obvious body image disorder held up as a role model.  

Maybe every woman has issues with weight and worth. We're also supposed to be eternally youthful. 

We dye our hair, spend a fortune on anti-aging creams, even paralyze our foreheads with Botox.  But what is the crime in looking your age, and having a curve or two?

The other day, the UPS man said to me, "Have you lost weight?" even though I've been the same size - twelve - for most of my adult life.  People seem to think this is the ultimate compliment.

I'll admit my age freely - I'm 45 years old.  But why is it that anytime I tell anyone this fact, they feign shock and declare that I don't look my age? Actually, truth be told, I do.  I've got grey hairs coming in and crow's feet walking across my face like anyone else in middle age.

Middle age.  That's a term most of us actually in the middle of middle age don't usually apply to ourselves, but younger people look at us and think we're as old as dirt.

A couple of years ago, I watched an interview with Keira Knightley, who said of her Pirates of the Caribbean co-star, Johnny Depp,  "It's just outrageous that he can look this good at his age!  Just ridiculous!"  He was 42 at the time.

What's wrong with wearing your life on your person?  When I look at my Prayables profile picture, it seems more like a mug shot.  I'm stiff, my blouse is rumpled, and I'm squinting.

The photographer said, "Do you want me to re-touch it?  Everybody does it."

If he hadn't said, "Everybody does it," I might have gone ahead and wiped away all of my flaws.  But if we're all fudging our pics and profiles, can we ever really know each other?

Looking at my picture, I took stock. Stiff? To be sure. Like most writers, I'm used to being in front of the computer, not a camera.

Rumpled? Indeed. Most days, I'm meeting deadlines, running errands, raising my son, so I usually am somewhat disheveled.

Squinting? Oh yes. Being legally blind in one eye, take it as a compliment if I'm squinting.  It means I'm trying to see you.

These imperfections could easily have been erased, but it would have been like disowning the life I've lived and second-guessing the One who gave me that life.

So I think I'll keep my profile picture just the way it is:  true-to-life.  After Someone took the time and energy to create me this way, the least I can do is be myself, wherever I go.

Whatever May Come

You made me funny, fickle,
sometimes feral,
but You know I always
find my way back to center.

You gave me the quirks I possess,
like a penchant for pointless puns;
a black thumb unable to sustain even a ficus,
and a heart as wide as the sky.

Measuring myself against others who aren't me
is like saying I don't trust You.
My greatest idiosyncrasy
is that I've never met You,
but trust You with my life and all I hold dear.
Walk together with me, whatever may come.

-Ruth Williams

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