Blogs - Prayables Team Blog

Becoming a Dependent

The past few weeks have been a whirl-wind of welcoming my fiancé home from Iraq, moving into our apartment, getting married three days later, then celebrating my 22nd birthday. It's since calmed down some-what and we've slowly been getting settled. By calmed down I mean, in the past week, I've had to change my identity and become a "real person" to the US Army.

This involved getting my dependent ID card, car decal, and making sure our finances were in line so we can receive a housing allowance for living off-post. All of this wasn't bad. It was time consuming because the base my husband is stationed at is as large as a city, so he even got lost, but of course wouldn't admit it. I'm sure you're all familiar with the driving-around-in-silence moments.

My husband, also told me I had to go with him to a spouse briefing. Nothing about the Army had made me nervous before hearing this, but that made me a little antsy. "Briefing" - that sounds scary. Was there a mission involved? A spouse special-ops?

No - let's think logically. They're probably going to tell us: don't fight, talk things out, and get help if you need it.

And I was right. After being 15 minutes late, because no one knew where this certain chapel was on base, we walked in squished in a pew with 15 other people who were also late. Everyone was talking, babies were crying, and the speaker didn't have a microphone. I think he told us what I expected, but it was hard to take him seriously when I noticed I was one of the only spouses at this briefing. ...He would do that.

After 30 minutes of straining to hear, the soldiers had to line up and get their packets stamped saying they that were accounted for and everyone left in a big hustle. The only thing that actually scared me during the whole thing was the lady NCO (Non-commissioned officer) that yelled at everyone to get in line. She mean't business.

On our way out my husband joked, with his buddies, that, "If I had to suffer, then she did too." Very funny. I forgot to laugh. Not only because the briefing didn't tell us much, nor could we hear it, but mostly because it showed how lax the Army can be about important subjects. It made me nervous to hear what they had to say, but then it ending up being no big deal.

It worries me that they don't take soldiers coming home seriously, or that our marriage is based on nothing more than having basic people skills. I love what the Army does for us, but some things could be done better. Then again, nothing is perfect and at least they're trying. Maybe whether people listen or not is the real issue.

Love says:
You are the one who believes
that I will never find you.
But I am searching, searching only for you.
If only you'd realize that I reside in that place
where you never seem to look.

Love says:
Listen, go inside yourself.
Search yourself,
like you're looking for a secret,
or the answer to your life.
Fall deep inside.
Find me there.
I will hold your ankles,
make sure you get back out.

-Miranda Claudius