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Peace Within

I recently moved into a new house, and made a conscious decision not to get cable, or satellite TV. While I'm glad for this decision, I've found that I miss watching movies and certain TV shows.

One thing that I choose to watch is movies that move me one way or another. I love to laugh, and if I've been through a serious or rough day, I'll choose a comedy. If I am in a mood for something heavier, I'll choose what I call 'struggle' movies. These can be difficult to watch, but usually give me a great take away for my own life.

Just last night I watched, finally, Rachel Getting Married. The main character is actually not Rachel, but her sister, Kim, who was released for a few days from a rehab to attend Rachel's wedding. The passionate dialogue describes the history of Kim's addiction, and how she truly feels alienated from her family. Most of her alienation is internal, but much is real and was brought on by a tragic accident that happened while she was high. Ultimately, the weekend comes to a climax, where she is confronted, with family and her own sensibilities, and she at least begins the peace process within, if not with all family members.

The movie made me think of my own struggle with family members who have hurt me and destroyed family ties. And they weren't the first. I did my share of hurting others in my younger years. So, I watched the movie from that reference point, too. As a victim and as a perpetrator, I was moved to look inside to the place where I can be a peacemaker, or the one who won't allow peace in.

While we want peace in our lives, our vanity, stubbornness, or whatever you want to call it, won't allow us to let go. When we are hurt, we want retribution. Forgiveness is the first step to peace, and while it's difficult to forgive, it's not impossible. Forgetting is harder. After a personal injustice, your guard is up – against the person who hurt you, but also for others who don't deserve your barrier.

Consider what your peace destroyers have been in your life. Look for ways to allow forgiveness to replace animosity with family, friends and even yourself. Then allow peace some time to begin your healing process.

Through Your Eyes

Today, tomorrow, and always,
may I be allowed to see everyone
I come in contact with,
through Your eyes.

When they speak out in anger,
let me see the hurt
that consumes them;
the anguish that shields their tears.
Let me be the reassuring voice that heals.
Gift me Your words.

-Heidi Haller