Dealing with Anger - Too Angry to Pray

Too Mad to Pray

Sue Bradford Edwards

edwardsj113x111 Last week, the labyrinth simply wasn't working for me. Not like it usually does. I was simply too angry. A friend had called asking for prayers because of a problem in her extended family that put two children at risk.

As I walked the winding path, I prayed. I prayed for the children. I prayed for the adults, but these weren't my best prayers. I was too angry. I strode down the path, my steps long and fast.

I reached the center much faster than usual. I simply had to turn this over to God. So I prayed for Him to take the entire family into His Hands, into His Care.

Nope.

It wasn't working. I said the words, but I wasn't letting the problem go. I had to push it away from myself and toward Him. But how?

Then I remembered Abi's blog post: On the Mat. Maybe my yoga breathing would help. Not just the slow breathing, but also the visualization. A cleansing breath.

So I breathed in slowly – one, two, three, four, five – as I envisioned myself pulling God's Peace into my heart, but to make room for it, something else had to go, something big and weighty. I breathed out even more slowly – one, two, three . . . eight, nine, ten – as I envisioned myself pushing the tension and the woe out my finger tips and out the soles of my feet. Only as I pushed it away from myself was it free for God to take away.

Again and again, I breathed, in and out. In and out. With each breath, I felt myself relax just a little bit more. Relaxing my hands, letting my shoulders drop down from my ears.

When I had truly given this worry up, I again prayed for the family. I prayed for the children’s safety, the adults’ wisdom and love for all.

When a problem seems too great to let go, when it seems to fill you with dread, try visualization. See yourself pushing the problem out of your heart, but don’t forget to also visualize a Loving Presence taking the place of this weighty concern, leaving the worry no gap to fill.

Yes, you need to hand your problems over to God. But sometimes you need to consciously release them, to push them out, before you can do this. It may take time. It may take great effort, but it is something you can do.

Mad Enough to Fight

I want to fight,
to yell,
to lash out
at the world
in which these things
happen.
But good girls don't
yell or clench their hands
into fists.
What would people think?
I hold my anger tight,
and it becomes a part of me.
With You, I can let it go.
I turn over these battles
that are too big for me alone.
I push out my rage.
Then I am free to breathe,
to reach out to those
who need to feel the compassion
that I can offer them
when I am not bound tight
with rage.