By Skye Pohl
A man marries a women hoping she will never change. A women marries a man with a list of changes for him. Usually neither one will get what they want.
We men are actually very sensitive. We are sort of emotional chameleons. In the beginning of a relationship the man may come home while the women is cooking and wrap his arms around her and kiss her neck. And in the beginning she will stop what she’s doing, and maybe giggle in delight. So we think to ourselves that this is something that pleases our wife and we continue. Fast forward three or four years and when the man comes home and the wife is cooking she is now exhausted because she has been with a toddler all day, and when you hug her she is wondering if you actually put your socks in the hamper or just threw them on the ground like yesterday. So her reaction to him is different.
After a few times of this happening without the couple communicating men will start to withdraw. We are no longer getting the desired response and we are usually too self absorbed to even consider that it could be our fault.
The best way to avoid this is to communicate with your partner. As noted by others, keep sex interesting and as spontaneous as possible. Try to respond to his advances as much as you can.
If you want things to be like they were then try acting like you use to. While things will never be exactly the same, it is possible to rewind the clock a little bit. It is possible to add more timber to the fire.
Personally, I find that just going and doing something totally out of the box is what works for my wife and I. A couple weeks ago I took her to “food truck fryday”. There were a bunch of food trucks, mostly serving food neither of us would ever eat, but we enjoyed the adventure and both found something suitable. After we ate we wondered around the park and found an outside bar. There was a jazz band playing with people sitting in the grass drinking sangrias. That was totally our speed and we both enjoyed the evening so much. It was new to both of us and we carried no expectations. Later on that night we brought the spark we had created that day into the bedroom. It was like we were dating all over again.
Marriage is like a beautiful plant. You can leave it alone and slowly let it die, or, you can water it and give it nutrients. You can make sure that you give it attention every day and watch it grow with delight. Sure, it won’t ever be a little sprout again, but with enough love and care it will turn into something even better.
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