An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice, "I have a gun, … [Read more...]

I've decided I'll never get down to my original weight. I am okay with that. 6 lbs. 3 oz. is just not realistic. … [Read more...]

I’m raging with ire, an ocean of fire, My Wrath is the path to all I desire. Oh Lord, forgive me my Zins. I’m inflated with pride, near-bursting inside, A self-centered repenter, Vanitys’ bride. Oh Lord, forgive me my Zins. I’m mired in mud, … [Read more...]

Father Brendan O'Malley got up one fine spring day and walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside, and noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local … [Read more...]

Three men died and went to the after-world. They were all bad seeds, no-good nicks. None of the three men had added value to the world. In fact, they were destroyers of the world. The men were directed down to Satan‘s area. Satan says to the men, … [Read more...]

A single guy decides life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede (a 100-legged bug) that came in a little white … [Read more...]

One day I was walking home.  I noticed a snail on the sidewalk along my path and kicked it to the side.  A year later, I heard a knock at the door.  I opened the door, looked out, and then looked down.  It was the snail who said:  “What … [Read more...]

One day a biker dude was riding his motorcycle along the Pacific Coast Highway in California and heard God’s voice.  God said:  “You’ve always been such a good person…I would like to repay your kindness. What can I do for you?"  The biker … [Read more...]