You know you’re in a country church when the preacher talks about Jesus feeding the 5000, and people ask whether the two fish were bass or catfish and what bait was used to catch them.
You know you’re in a country church when a member requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because “There ain’t never been in a hole it couldn’t get out of.”
You know you’re in a country church when the opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
You know you’re in a country church when the choir is known as the “OK Chorale.”
You know you’re in a country church when people think “rapture” is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
You know you’re in a country church when the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized metal washtub.
You know you’re in a country church when the collection plates are really hubcaps from a ’56 Chevy.
You know you’re in a country church when the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
You know you’re in a country church when the communion wine is Boone’s Farm’s “Tickled Pink.”
You know you’re in a country church when the final words of the benediction are, “Y’all come back now, Ya hear.”