A Reflection by Susan Diamond
I feel moved to share an email exchange I had recently that changed my way of thinking.
But first, I’ll begin with an explanation. My mother and her dear friend Lois, are both ninety-one years old, in good health and both enjoy a social life as best they can with few friends left, and a pandemic that keeps them close to home.
Every so often I’ll make a “girls night out” for the three of us to get together for dinner and entertainment at my house. I cook a good meal, I set up the big screen television and we enjoy a special feature. We’ve done Hamilton, a Frank Sinatra documentary, and a Dudu Fisher concert live from Tel Aviv.
But the best event of them all was when Lois’s grandaughter was recently married in New York and she was able to “attend” via Zoom. I served appetizers, we had champagne, and a small wedding cake complete with the bride and groom topper from my parent’s wedding cake seventy-three years ago. It was a blast!
A couple of weeks later I discovered a brown cardboard box on my doorstep. It was an enormous gift basket filled with treats and goodies from Lois’s three daughters, who all live out of town.
This is where the email chain begins.
From Me:
Thank you for the thank you basket. It’s magnificent!!! We will all enjoy it together.
😘 Not to be rude or ungrateful…but please never do this again 😘
Everything I do with your mother is a pleasure, never an imposition.
I don’t have your sister’s contact info. Please share this with them.
Love, Susie
From Daughter:
Hi Susie!
So glad you like the basket. Sounds like you are great at giving, but not so great at taking!!!
Your mom is a dear person.
All my best.
From Me:
haha. you are right – taking makes me uncomfortable. You’ve got excellent taste – the basket (actually it’s a tote which I will use) is outstanding.
From Daughter:
Someone taught me about taking when I had cancer in ’99. People kept offering to make dinners and drive me to appointments, etc, and I kept saying no, and someone said…I had to let people give me things and/or their time, because they felt sad and unable to cure me, and it made them feel useful to give or do something. So I take what’s lovingly offered.
From Me:
Thank you. That’s a good lesson learned. I try to teach it to my Mom who resists, every time someone does something for her, but I need to practice what I preach.
***
“Take what’s lovingly offered.” Isn’t that a beautiful suggestion? I instantly made a vow to change my ways. You never know how sharing one small anecdote will make a difference.
And that’s why I’m sharing this with you, today!
God bless, and be as generous in receiving, as you are generous in giving.