One day I was walking home. I noticed a snail on the sidewalk along my path and kicked it to the side. A year later, I heard a knock at the door. I opened the door, looked out, and then looked down. It was the snail who said: “What … [Read more...]
Humor: Biker Dude
One day a biker dude was riding his motorcycle along the Pacific Coast Highway in California and heard God’s voice. God said: “You’ve always been such a good person…I would like to repay your kindness. What can I do for you?" The biker … [Read more...]
Humor: Getting Into Heaven
"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale, and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?" the teacher asked the children in her Sunday School class. "NO!" the children all answered. "If I cleaned the church … [Read more...]
Humor: The End is Near
A priest and pastor from the local parishes are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!" "Leave us alone, you religious nuts!" yelled the driver as he sped … [Read more...]
Humor: Heavenly Dining
Mother Teresa died and went to heaven. God greeted her at the Pearly Gates. "Be thou hungry, Mother Teresa?" asked God. "I could eat," Mother Teresa replied. So God opened a can of tuna and reached for a chunk of rye bread, and they began to … [Read more...]
Humor: Idiot!
The pastor gets up one Sunday morning to find a letter on her porch. She opens it, and in large letters, it says: IDIOT. The pastor folds it, puts it in her purse, and proceeds to the church. When it’s time for her sermon, she shows the … [Read more...]
Humor: Speed Limits
The highway patrolman pulls over a car on the highway. He approaches the car, and the driver rolls down the window. He sees it’s an elderly lady at the wheel. "Officer, is there a problem?" she asks. "Well ma’am, this is a 65-mile-an-hour … [Read more...]
Humor: Sadie Makes Her Point
A policeman stops Sam as he and his wife Sadie are in the car speeding down the highway. "Do you know you were going 95mph in a 65 mph speed zone?" Sam says, "Why no, officer, I'm surprised. I had my cruise control set for 65." Sadie pipes … [Read more...]
Humor: Help Me Out
Jack, a well-dressed athletic-looking fellow, is approached by a homeless man. - Can you help me out? "If I give you money, will you use it for alcohol?" - No, I don't drink. "What about drugs?" - I don't use drugs. Jack asks a … [Read more...]
Humor: Questions to Think About
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON … [Read more...]
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