Pacing back and forth, a man was getting anxious about his imminent operation. His wife asked him, "What's the matter? Why are you getting so worked up?" He replied: "I heard one of the nurses say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, … [Read more...]

Sharon Clark has a heart attack and is rushed to the hospital. While she’s on the operating table, her heart stops and her soul departs from her body. Sharon appears before God and asks, “God, is that it?” God answers, “No, you have another 30 years … [Read more...]

Hump-ty dumpty sat on a wall, Hump-ty dumpty sat up straight and tall. All who cast gloom and all who cry doom, couldn't make Hump-ty grumpy on Hump Day. … [Read more...]

A fleeing Taliban terrorist, desperate for water, was plodding through the desert when he saw something in the distance. Praying it wasn’t a mirage, he hurried toward the object only to find a little old Jewish man standing beside his weathered … [Read more...]

A husband and wife are arguing. The wife is so angry that she impulsively goes to the kitchen, grabs the sharpest knife she can find, and approaches her husband with the intention to cut off his private parts. She yields the knife and misses. … [Read more...]

A frog walks into a bank and approaches the teller. Her nameplate reads "Patty Whack." "Miss Whack," he says, "I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday." Surprised, Patty asks for his name. "Kermit Jagger," he replies. "My dad is Mick … [Read more...]

A priest and a rabbi are old friends who enjoy ribbing each other.  The priest says to the rabbi, “Too bad in your business, there’s no room for moving up. Once a rabbi, always a rabbi.”  The rabbi asks, “And in your line of work, you can move … [Read more...]

A pig and a chicken sharing the same barnyard heard about a church’s program to feed the hungry. The pig and the chicken discussed how they could help. The chicken said, “I’ve got it! We’ll provide bacon and eggs for the church to feed the … [Read more...]

Four ladies are having lunch. They’re old friends and after a few glasses of wine they start spilling their secrets. The first one says, “I’m a klepto, but I never stole anything from any of you.” The second one says “I’m a flirt. But I never … [Read more...]

After a long-winded sermon about morals, bad behavior, and the evils of sinning, the televangelist preacher said to his live audience, "If there are any sinners in the room, please stand up." No one dared to stand. After a long silence, one … [Read more...]