The pastor gets up one Sunday morning to find a letter on her porch. She opens it, and in large letters, it says: IDIOT. The pastor folds it, puts it in her purse, and proceeds to the church.  When it’s time for her sermon, she shows the … [Read more...]

The highway patrolman pulls over a car on the highway. He approaches the car, and the driver rolls down the window. He sees it’s an elderly lady at the wheel. "Officer, is there a problem?" she asks. "Well ma’am, this is a 65-mile-an-hour … [Read more...]

A policeman stops Sam as he and his wife Sadie are in the car speeding down the highway. "Do you know you were going 95mph in a 65 mph speed zone?" Sam says, "Why no, officer, I'm surprised. I had my cruise control set for 65." Sadie pipes … [Read more...]

Jack, a well-dressed athletic-looking fellow, is approached by a homeless man.  - Can you help me out? "If I give you money, will you use it for alcohol?"  - No, I don't drink. "What about drugs?" - I don't use drugs. Jack asks a … [Read more...]

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON … [Read more...]

There's this 49-year-old man who takes care of his mother and his cat. His entire adult life, it’s Mother and the Cat, 24/7. He couldn’t leave them on their own, so he didn’t work, and he had no social life.  His brother came over one day and … [Read more...]

A priest, a minister, and a guru sat discussing the best positions for prayer while a telephone repairman worked nearby. "Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray," the priest said. "No," said the minister. "I get the best results standing … [Read more...]