John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun walks by and starts lecturing him on the evils of drinking. "You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! … [Read more...]

What’s the difference between someone who is neurotic, someone who is psychotic, and a therapist? A neurotic builds castles in the sky. A psychotic person lives in those castles, and the therapist collects the rent. … [Read more...]

A scientist and a preacher got to talking. The preacher says, "God made it all only 6,000 years ago." And the scientist asks, "How can you say that? We have moon rocks that are 4 billion years old." And the preacher replies, "Well, I didn’t … [Read more...]

Dear Lord, So far today I've done alright. I haven't gossiped, haven't lost my temper, haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or over-indulgent. But, in a few minutes, I'm going to get out of bed and from then on I'll be needing your help. … [Read more...]

When Moses has a new hobby... … [Read more...]

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had … [Read more...]

There once was an elderly nun who lived in a convent located in a farm community. Her worn-out body began to surrender. The doctor prescribed a shot of whiskey three times a day, to relax the anxious old woman. Not to be lured into worldly … [Read more...]

Johnny had been misbehaving and was sent to his room. After a while, he emerged and informed his mother that he had thought it over and then said a prayer. "Fine!" said the pleased mother. "If you ask God to help you not misbehave, God will help … [Read more...]

Overheard: I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited. Overheard: I’m not really lazy, I’m simply selectively active. Overheard: Being my age means that I’m old enough to do what I want, smart … [Read more...]