During my physical, my doctor asked me about my daily activity level, and so I described a typical day this way:  "Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake, drank eight cokes, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, marched … [Read more...]

The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Johnny interrupted, "My Mommy looked back once, while she was DRIVING,” he announced triumphantly, "and she turned into a telephone … [Read more...]

    A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?" One child blurted out, "Aces!" *** The … [Read more...]

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me — they're cramming for their final exam. George Carlin The years between 55 and 75 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do … [Read more...]

Let's compare the Moms of today with the Moms of yesteryears. It's a hoot! … [Read more...]

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?  Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they … [Read more...]

Alice was to bake a cake for the church ladies' group bake sale, but she forgot to do it until the last minute. She baked an angel food cake, and when she took it from the oven, the center dropped flat. She said, "Oh dear, there's no time to … [Read more...]

A guy is sitting in a bar having a scotch and soda when another guy walks in. They get to talking. "Where do you live?" "I live in the city - West Loop neighborhood." "I live in West Loop!" The one man exclaimed. "Wow! - Where did you … [Read more...]

An unfortunate man was involved in a serious auto accident, suffered serious injuries, and was rendered unconscious. When he finally regained consciousness after some days and several operations, he found himself in a quiet Catholic … [Read more...]

Harry and Zelda received the bad news that Harry's days are numbered. As he lay in his bed, waiting for the time to meet his maker, his darling Zelda was by his side. "Zelda," He gasped. "You've been a good wife, the best a man could ask for. … [Read more...]